Awake and Alive
by The War Inside my Head
Summary: After TK makes an attempt on his life, Matt's faced with the biggest challenge of all. Earning his brother's trust. Set after the second movie. ON HIATUS!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.**

**Author's Note: Okay this is kinda a dark one. Attempted suicide. Yup that's all I gotta say.**

**Chapter 1: I'm At War with the World**

Matt sighed as he walked towards his mother's. She had left TK home alone, _**again**_ and asked him to supervise. Not that he was complaining, he hadn't been able to see his baby brother recently so it would be nice to see him. He felt as though he'd been neglecting him. He shifted his ring that he was wearing.

For some reason he had a sinking feeling that something bad was going to happen, though he found the thought to be ludicrous he still prepared for the worst. In all honesty he didn't even know why he was so concerned TK was smart and knew to be careful. Though he couldn't help but be worried, I mean after all TK was his little brother.

Matt hesitantly opened the door and was sorta shocked to find it unlocked. He walked in and he smelt something that he couldn't quite explain. It smelled rusty and salty all the same. Then in hit him. Fresh blood. He heard metal clanking against the hard floors and Matt's eyes widened. _He wouldn't._ Matt thought racing back to his brother's room.

TK was laying there. Wrist's bloody. A bloody knife on the floor. And looking dead. Matt rushed to his side and checked for a pulse and was horrified when he found it to be weak. He quickly called an ambulance and tried to stop the bleeding. Paramedics rushed in and pushed him aside. Matt sunk to the ground and held his hands over his mouth.

Matt noticed an envelope on the bedside table. He stood up and found three. One with his name, another labeled Mom, and another labeled Dad. He opened his slowly. Inside was a song, that had been written by TK. Matt hesitated before reading it.

_It's caving in around me__  
__What I thought was solid ground__  
__I tried to look the other way__  
__But I couldn't turn around__  
__It's OK for you to hate me__  
__For all the things I've done__  
__I've made a few mistakes__  
__But I'm not the only one___

_Step away from the ledge__  
__I'm coming down___

_I could never be__  
__What you want me to__  
__You pulled me under__  
__To save yourself__  
__You will never see__  
__What's inside of me__  
__I pulled you under just to save myself___

_Was there ever any question__  
__On how much I could take?__  
__You kept feeding me your bullshit__  
__Hoping I would break__  
__Is there anybody out there?__  
__Is there anyone who cares?__  
__Is there anybody listening?__  
__Will they hear my final prayers?___

_Step away from the ledge__  
__I'm coming down___

_I could never be__  
__What you want me to__  
__You pulled me under__  
__To save yourself__  
__You will never see__  
__What's inside of me__  
__I pulled you under just to save myself___

_It's caving in around me__  
__It's tearing me apart__  
__It's all coming down around me__  
__Does anyone__  
__Anyone__  
__Care at all?___

_I will never be__  
__What you want me to__  
__You pull me under__  
__I pull you under___

_I could never be__  
__What you want me to__  
__You pulled me under__  
__To save yourself__  
__You will never see__  
__What's inside of me__  
__I pulled you under just to save myself_

Matt didn't know how to feel but one thing was for sure he was crying. His little brother just attempted suicide and wrote this. How was one supposed to feel after this? Upset, shocked, confused, unsure, guilty, horrified, terrified, angry. There were so many different emotions inside him he felt he were going to explode.

Matt slowly stood up and walked out of the room. The paramedics were gone and he had been left alone. Matt walked out of the apartment and walked down the stairs his bangs covering his eyes. Silent tears slipped down his face. Matt quickly broke into a run towards the hospital. He couldn't help but feel useless right now. He pulled his phone out as he reached the hospital. "Tai I need you to meet me at the hospital." Matt said into the phone not bothering to hide the tears or sadness in his voice.

"_What happened, are you okay_?" Tai asked sounding rather worried.

"No it's TK." Matt told hi as more tears came down his face.

"_What happened_?" Tai asked sounding even more concerned. Matt let out a shaky breath.

"He tried to kill himself." Matt told Tai letting more tears fall down his face as he took a seat in the waiting room. A doctor came out and Matt hung up.

"I'm assuming your the older brother." The doctor sighed. Matt nodded and the doctor continued. "He's fine, and before you ask you can go see him." He told him. Matt quickly went back to the room. **(A/N: How did he know where to go?)**. TK was laying on the bed awake. He shifted uncomfortably the moment Matt walked in.

Matt walked over to the bed and sat down in a chair. "You feeling okay?" TK nodded and Matt sighed. "Why?" TK stayed silent. "Why the hell would you do something so incredibly stupid Takeru?" Matt asked his voice dropping.

"I was tired of being treated like shit." TK muttered. Matt's head shot up and he looked at TK with a confused look.

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked.

"You, mom, dad, and everyone else hardly acknowledge the fact I exist." TK told Matt quietly. Matt felt a wave guilt as he listened to his brother explain it to him. He hadn't meant to ignore TK, he'd just been busy lately. He hadn't realized it was taking such a toll on TK, if he had he would have done something about it a long time ago but he hadn't and now guilt, remorse, and regret filled him.

"I'm sorry TK, I never meant to hurt you." TK muttered something and Matt sighed.

"I'm going to sleep." TK muttered before closing his eyes. Matt sighed. It was going to be hard earning TK's trust again, but he'd do it no matter what.


End file.
